Misplaced Priorities

What is the deal with tanning? Beginning at the end of February, corps of tan-fabulous coworkers head to the tanning beds in droves, or so it would seem. Apparently a normal skin tone for the end of winter is "pasty" and horrible. Me, being as fair-skinned as I am, I get looks that range from pity to utter contempt when I tell them I couldn't care less about tanning. They seem really interested, like "what is that ghostly, sickly kid going to DO this summer!" I'm going to wear SPF 30, people! I actually don't want skin cancer, silly me. Around July everyone will be comparing tans and invariably the most tan person will have praise heaped upon them. I never know what to say--"Way to go! The staggering darkness of your tan really camoflauges your damaged skin well!" A lady I work with had a scare recently when her 22-year-old daughter was diagnosed with melanoma. Used to lay out in the sun a lot. Now, this woman is not one to keep a single gory detail to herself, so you would think this well-publicized event would temper the tanorexics'(to borrow a term from David Sedaris) need for excess melatonin. Alas, no. Maybe it is a southern thing, something that all leathery Tennesseeans can take pride in. I guess trying to AVOID CANCER is just so....Yankee.