More Fascinating Insights from the Minds of Not-at-all-Credulous Co-Workers

This needs no explanation. Here is a transcript of the conversation a few of my coworkers just had--

M (reading something online): Oh, this makes me so mad! "They" are saying that Jesus didn't really walk on water because there might have been patches of ice in the sea! Those scientists are sooooooo stupid!!

J: They're just trying to make people doubt the word of God, that's all that is! It's the same thing with that DaVinci Code! Do you know Tom Hanks is starring in that movie? What a disgrace.

L: Well, I heard "they" are trying to say that Christ didn't really die, and that it's all a conspiracy. It's so stupid.

J: I heard that! You know, Satan is coming up with all of these things because the Passion of the Christ was so powerful. It's hard for Satan to compete with that. I guess he doesn't have enough sinners burning in Hell already!

M: It just makes me so mad!

S: Yeah, you know what the crap that "they" come up with!

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Yes, that's right--There is a conspiracy by mad scientists to refute the absolute truth that Jesus was the Son of God, totally awesome, and able to walk over liquid. The scientists, apparently, are being aided by Satan himself, because Satan is jealous of Mel Gibson.

Without a doubt, my office mates are an intellectual bunch, and I hope they never let anyone tell them any different! If someone disagrees with them, it's just the work of Satan, anyway. And they definitely shouldn't let anyone tell them that this "Heathen Scientists say Jesus Walked on Ice" thing was a complete fabrication dreamed up by people who love to pray on the extreme gullibility and ignorance of Bible-Belt Christians.

Bless their little hearts!