Sedaris Too Much for Morally Superior Knoxvillians

Author David Sedaris was in town Tuesday night for a reading at the newly spiffy Tennessee Theatre. I am a big fan, but I usually try to keep my expectations low so that when something is really good it's a pleasant shock in a world of shit (OK, my expectations were extremely high for the Slint reunion show in Louisville in February, but they delivered perfection. Duh!). Any doubts I had about David quickly evaporated. He was utterly hilarious and his stories are even funnier when he reads them aloud. His timing and connection with the audience is impeccable. So what's not to like, right? Well, nothing in my case, but it seems some misguided, uptight yuppies/Christians/old people had wandered into the gig, either by mistake or because they were expecting Chicken Soup for the Soul as read by John Grisham or some shit like that. When did the problem arise? Well, Sedaris told a new story that involved his sister Amy, of Strangers with Candy fame. Amy is not a normal person by any stretch of the imagination and takes great delight in fucking with everyone, but especially their father. She loves to buy disturbing things to leave around her apartment when Dad comes to visit. The latest acquisition was, well, it was a woman-on-horse mag. I think David's graphic depiction of the particulars involved in bestiality was simply too much for the delicate ears of Survivor and CSI-loving suburbanites, and about 10 or 12 people began to get up and stomp out. As they made their exits, making sure their haughty expressions would be noticed, I was initially pissed because it was a little distracting. But then I realized how sad these people were and I forgot about them until later. Sedaris spoke about this magazine with complete disinterest and a clinical detachment, and it was used to make a larger point about HIS many personal inhibitions. But I suppose that is a few too many layers deep for some people. They probably went home and immediately banned their teenagers from reading any of that filthy David Sedaris, especially after looking him up on the internet and learning that the "Hugh" of his stories is in fact his boyfriend and he is, OMG, a homosexual!!! This prohibition will of course cause their kids to immediately get their hands on his books and begin devouring them, so in that way their ignorance is greatly satisfying. So, David, I have this to say to you: Right on! I know your eccentric sister will continue to provide you with wonderful offensive material for a good long time, so keep it coming, man. Every pissed-off Bush voter, Christian and soccer mom is a notch on your bedpost. I hope to one day get my booked signed, when not with a hubby with an aversion to standing in line, so that you can ask my opinion on monkeys and cigarette preferences. Oh yeah, he offered a pack of Kool cigarettes to whoever might want them, because he is actually a Kool Milds smoker. Cool guy.